9 Steps to Forming an SAT Prep Habit: Step 3
We’re more likely to keep promises to other people than to ourselves because we don’t want to let them down. Use this natural tendency to your advantage by committing to an accountability buddy.
Remind yourself that failure is part of success. You will fail sometimes, but what’s most important is to keep a positive mindset and be as kind to yourself as you’d be to your accountability buddy.
Want more tips? Read the rest of our 9 Steps to Forming an SAT Prep Habit.
Step 3: Create accountability buddies and share defined times and goals together!
It’s really easy to say “I’m going to do three hours of SAT prep today” and then…not to do it. It’s especially easy if you don’t set a specific time that you’re going to do your SAT prep: When you decide to do it “later”, frequently when the end of the evening comes and you realize you haven’t done your three hours of SAT prep, you give up because “there isn’t time tonight.” I talk about making it easy to start by giving yourself little wins and room to focus on Day 2 - so please make sure you are keeping those pieces of the SAT prep habit in mind as well!
Find an accountability buddy to keep you on track
Remember that It’s easier to let yourself down than to let down a friend - and, by extension, we’re more likely to keep promises to other people than to ourselves because we don’t want to let them down. We want to keep our promises because that’s part of keeping friendship (it benefits us in evolution to have a trusted circle/tribe), so we take them more seriously.
Even stronger is if two friends who both want to accomplish goals (whether a shared goal or two different goals) tell each other about that goal: Now, not only do we not want to let our friend down because we told him/her/them that we’d do SAT prep tonight, but we know that our friend’s motivation to accomplish his/her/their SAT prep is directly dependent on our keeping our part of this accountability bargain. When I understand that my friend Matt’s ability to do his SAT prep is helped by me doing my SAT prep, I am way more motivated to make my SAT prep happen - because I know that another person’s ability to accomplish something hinges directly on my corresponding accomplishment.
Use that tendency to come through for another person to help you: Get an accountability buddy - a friend who also wants to prep for the SAT (or accomplish some long-term goal that takes a similar duration and intensity of prep). Commit to your accountability buddy that you will prep for the SAT at a certain time for a certain amount of time every day. Here are the rules:
Give yourself a specific start time
Designate a specific stop time
Make a plan at a specific time - preferably right when you’re done (although you might want to give yourself a 15-min buffer if you’re on a roll) to meet up and talk about how you did.
Keep track of the following to share with your accountability buddy:
Was it hard to start?
Was it hard to stay focused?
Was it hard to stop?
Did you want to go over your allotted daily time?
Is it getting easier to maintain this SAT habit, the more days you have successfully made it to the finish line?
Keep a Google doc, organized by day, so that you can keep track of your accountability buddy’s successes. Your buddy will keep track of yours. Remember, writing it down makes a difference - here’s where I talk about how the guy used a Google doc to finally, successfully lose weight.
Make a goal for tomorrow - and try to make it just slightly harder.
Right before you start for the day, open up the Google doc your accountability buddy is keeping to track your success. Read through all your achieved goals and remind yourself WHY you are doing this - what’s the payoff? And what success have you seen already? Today you are on track to build on that success!
One thing to remind yourself: Failure is part of success.
I talk more about failure and setting yourself up to succeed in Day 2, but the most important thing to remember is that some days you’ll fail. You’ll lose focus, you’ll feel like you’re getting everything wrong; just staying in the room or sitting at your desk until the allotted time is up will seem like an effort you physically cannot muster. That’s okay. We’re human, and we have good days and bad days - it’s important to acknowledge those and not to allow negative self-talk: Those things that we call ourselves - stupid, lacking drive, fat, ugly, whatever awful adjective - we would never say to another person. And those words we say to ourselves have a lasting effect on us. Instead, think of the things you would say to make your accountability buddy feel better when s/he/they has had a rough day making it through: “You got this.” “You’ll try again tomorrow.” “Everyone has good days and bad days.” “It’s not about this particular battle - it’s about winning the war.” “Keeping at it is the measure of success.” “Life is about tenacity.” Be as kind to yourself as you’d be to your accountability buddy - because you deserve it. You’re doing something difficult, and setbacks are part of the journey.